Weird Animals You Won’t Believe Aren’t Photoshopped (Part 3)

Yes, that really is a fish with human teeth that seems in bad need of some flossing. Pacu fish are cousins to the Piranha but are mostly fruit eaters that use their human-like teeth to crack nuts and fruits. Apparently, they are not that picky on what kind of nuts as there have been reports of men bleeding to death after a Pacu Fish had biten off their testicles…

What seems like a cgi scene lifted from Jurassic Park is in fact a flightless bird called the Cassowary. Not only is this the world’s deadliest bird, but it’s also one of the most dangerous things you can bump into in Australia period, which is saying a lot when 90% of the wildlife there is capable of destroying you. This Ostrich from hell takes protecting it’s territory very, VERY seriously, and will brutally murder anything perceived as a threat (you!) with it’s razor-sharp claws. They can reach heights of up to 7ft and there are many records of natives being seriously injured or killed by this, finely-tuned, writing machine of death. Oh… and if you think I am exaggerating then be sure to check out the video.

Welcome to Australia, the only place in the world where you can get disemboweled by a bird!

What would happen if these two had a baby?

AAAHHHH!!!

The only uplifting thing to say — after realising that such a horrifying thing exists — is that it seems to have a taste for Doritos, rather then human brains. This bizarre animal is related to the common Pill Bug and, according to fossil record, have existed for over 160 million years. Even though it looks like these creatures could easily take over the world if they wanted to, they are actually quite harmless, deep-sea scavengers.

This scary looking fish is called a Snakehead. They are known for its voracious appetite, often consuming all other fish in a lake or pond and even eating its young. It can also slither across land and stay out of water for up to three days to find new sources of food. Once on land, snakeheads can eat almost any small animal in its path, and have even attacked people who got too close to snakehead egg nesting areas. If these things could fly, mankind would have declared war on them a long, long time ago…

Have you ever wondered what would happen if an antelope had a baby with the alien from the Mos Eisley Cantina?

It would probably look pretty close to this…

The Saiga Antelope is one of the world’s most ancient mammals, having shared the Earth with saber-toothed tigers and woolly mammoths, 250,000 years ago. Thought to be extinct at one time, they are also referred to as living fossils.

I know what you’re thinking. “This is either a Photoshop or someone threaded a snake through a turtle”. But this species of turtle have such long necks that they aren’t able to pull it back into their shell, which is basically the only good thing about being a turtle. They do have skunk superpowers though and can produce a offensive smelling liquid if threatened.

Living at a depth of 7,000 meter below sea level, the Dumbo octopus is the deepest-living octopi discovered. It sure is good to know that after miles of vertical water and untold horrors, deep sea creatures start to turn into Disney cartoon characters.

Aww… look at the little guy, finally something from the abyss that does not make us want to fire nukes into the deep blue, “just in case.”

This weird looking snake can be found in the Takamanda Forest Reserve, Cameroon. Its strange scales give it the ability to blend in with it’s surroundings to hide from predators or ambush prey. Humans are normally not on it’s menu, but a bite can be deadly though.

For something that looks like it can only be killed with a flamethrower, they sure gave this “Coconut Crab” an innocent sounding name.

The Oar-fish — also known as ribbon fish — are among the largest fish in the ocean, with some that can grow to up to 50 feet long. Because of its size, many believe sea serpent folklore and stories of mythological sea creatures originate with the oar-fish. If you’re worried that this image — which is now burned into your brain for eternity — will prevent you to ever set foot in the ocean again, don’t be. They commonly reside 3,000 feet deep, and sightings of this sea monster are extremely rare.

If you think you look weird then remember: You do not have a dong for a nose, always remember that…

The Proboscis Monkey is a medium-sized monkey that is found exclusively in the rain-forests of Borneo. The male Proboscis Monkey is one of the largest monkeys in Asia and — with their fleshy nose — they are also one of the world’s most bizarre looking mammals.

From a distance the Scorpionfly looks like your ordinary dragonfly, but what we have here is another fine example of why you should never look at bugs through a microscope…

Holy hell!! It’s like nature took all the bad things you ever did in your life and made a bug out of it just to punish you! Fortunately, the male’s scorpion-like tail doesn’t sting and is only presented to females for courtship displays — pretty much like a box of chocolates!

Though, for the record, they are totally harmless and there is no record of one biting a person — who then returns from the grave to walk the earth as an undead Vampire Deer themselves. Then again, there is no record of it not happening either and it could just mean they are really good at getting away with it…

This weird but amazing looking fish is considered a delicacy in many parts of the world. In Polynesia, it is served raw and was once considered “royal food”, only eaten by a King. Now, I understand that this photo doesn’t even look like a good Photoshop and more of a Windows Paint at best. But please keep in mind that some species of Parrot Fish can envelope themselves in a transparent cocoon (which is made from an organ on their head). They do this to hide their scent from predators and, obviously, to look like a Pixar cartoon animal.

Here it looks like some hoaxter pasted a retro video game character in some wildlife documentary. It actually looks a lot like one of those 4Chan memes you’d expect to burst out in singing and dancing anytime now. However, in order to make sense of this picture, it’s probably best to just enjoy the video below.

This ant, that looks like a Panda, is actually a wingless wasp. So why do they call it a Panda Ant? We don’t have a clue, other then the assumption that taxonomists are high a lot when they are naming newly-discovered animals.

Unfortunately, this amazing looking creature — which looks like a Grateful Dead Poster come to life — is also one of the world’s rarest and highly endangered amphibians.

Is prostitution becoming a problem on the ocean floor?