giant extinct version of today's animals
Sleeping would be a luxury we couldn't afford if any of these extinct creatures would still be alive today
extinct creatures that were giant versions of today's animals
If these giant extinct creatures were still alive today, we would all be living in zombie bunkers

 


If you’re reading this then you can give yourself a big pat on the back for ending on top of an evolutionary battle that lasted millions of years. The reward? A bad day for us rarely involving: getting our head ripped off by some gigantic predator as it continues its day like nothing ever happened. Unless of course you live in some back country area of Australia that God abandoned a long… long time ago- and where every day is struggle for survival. But since you’re reading this from a computer, I assume that you’re enjoying the comforts of civilization (besides, if you are living in Australia then there is a big chance you are dead already).

Anyway, there was a time when nature was still trying to decide which one of it’s creations was worthy of being the dominant life form. We are talking about a time when the human race wasn’t around yet- or was still trying to prepare meat without setting its back hair on fire. In this ancient world, nature seemed to have a particularly hard time with setting a sense of scale. Meaning, anything alive during that time was at least the size of a Volkswagen and equipped with claws that could knock my goddamn head off in a single swift blow!

Fortunately, we dodged an evolutionary bullet when nature downsized these monstrous creatures. If that never had happened, mankind would have undoubtedly declared war on every single one of these monsters. Also, we’d probably be checking our email from a home that resembles a zombie apocalypse bunker, praying that our scent doesn’t get picked up by gargantuan creatures such as:

Megalodon, the Great White Multiplied by 10

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Megalodon has to be the most frightening creature to ever have lived. The only reason why I even hesitated to put it on the top of this list of horrifying extinct creatures, is that it doesn’t have legs, which would have made it easier to avoid. If I were a mermaid then it would have been a no brainer though.

Anyway, if you ever watched a monster movie then I’m pretty sure this Megalodon was the star in at least on of them. In these movies you see this giant shark eat the Golden Gate Bridge, swallow cruise ships, or snatch Jumbo Jets from the sky (I shit you not, check out the video!). What’s even scarier then the acting in these movies, is that all these ludicrous scenarios would have probably came true if this gargantuan shark were still around today…

extinct creatures that were giant versions of modern animals
Megalodon, the giant shark

Megalodon grew to around 55 to 60 feet (20 meters) long and weighed as much as 100 tons, which is pretty close to a Blue Whale. The teeth of this prehistoric shark were over half a foot long and you’d have to go back 65 million years, to none other than Tyrannosaurus Rex, to find a creature with bigger choppers. Also, the biting power of this behemoth is known to be the strongest of any creature that ever lived. Scientists have calculated it to be around 18,2 tons, which is 10 times the force of a great white shark, enough to crush the skull of a prehistoric whale like an egg, or bite the Golden Gate Bridge in two.

As you can imagine, this was the ultimate marine predator and we still don’t know what caused its extinction. Speculations are that Megalodon fell victim to global cooling, or by the gradual disappearance of the giant whales that made up the bulk of its diet. There are also those who believe Megalodon still lurks deep on the ocean floor, but no hard evidence is around to support this. I am not sure if anyone, who went out to test that theory, ever made it back to shore though…

extinct creatures Megalodon

 

Gigantopithecus, aka Big Foot

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While seemingly not the most terrifying extinct creature on this list, there is something about this giant primate that should be taken into consideration. Namely, these apes being around at a time when humans already walked the earth… Just imagine standing eye-to-eye with a 10 feet tall, 1,200 pounds weighing gorilla and not having a flamethrower to defend yourself.

giant extinct animals
A complete skeleton of these primates was never found, so scientists are still trying to fill in some of the blanks. Common believe is that they walked on all fours, so these pictures are more to demonstrate its frightening size. However the anthropologist Grover Krantz proposed the idea that they did actually move around on 2 legs as he tried to connect this extinct animal to the existence of a creature that is rumored to still live today, the legendary Big Foot.

giant extinct animals

The Tauntaun is 8.2 ft, just sayin…

Argentavis Magnificens, the gigantic bird

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This gigantic bird of prey is the largest bird to ever terrorize the skies. It had a wingspan of about the same size of a Learjet and could snatch its prey (you) from the ground and shallow it whole, in a single swoop. Even though I would give up a liver to see one of these magnificent bastards, I think we can all thank god almighty for hitting the reset button on this one.

extinct creatures

Enjoying the sun in your backyard, outdoor sports, riding a bike, forget about all that, it just wouldn’t be worth it if we’d have these monsters patrolling the sky.

eagle grabbing child and lifts it up in the air

On the other hand, maybe we would have been able to domesticate them, and we would all be flying these things to work.

riding a bird
Fuck Yeah!!

Titanoboa, the snake that would beat King Kong’s ass

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Anaconda’s are already freaking huge, with the largest on record stretching a jaw-dropping 27-feet. However, nature’s early sketch of this animal, named the “Titanoboa cerrejonensis”, was on a whole different level of terror. This creature, which seem to have been lifted from a 70’s Monster movie, lived 60 million years ago. It grew to around 50 feet, weighed 2,500 pounds, and could probably crush you to death just by looking at you!

giant extinct creatures

Nature didn’t give it the ability to fly, but other than that this has to be the most bad-ass creature to ever existed. In fact, it actually survived the extinction event that wiped out all the dinosaurs, probably by curling up like a ball, while cackling madly at nature itself.

SuperCroc, the name says it all…

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Here we have another extinct creature that seems to have stepped right of the set of a Godzilla movie. Yes, it’s actually called SuperCroc, which sounds like a name a 6 year-old would have come up with. But in all fairness, there isn’t another name that would do this seemingly invincible monster justice. SuperCrocs, which lived 112 million years ago, are pretty much the same armored, pant-shittingly scary things we see today, but with a horrifying twist. With today’s crocodiles, you basically have a period of fast growth, followed by a little bit of growth – but this guy wasn’t slowing down, at all! It just kept growing through it’s entire lifetime and are believed to reach the size of a bus (11.2–12.2 meters or 37–40 ft) and weighing almost 9,000 kg. In comparison, the largest saltwater crocodile on record weighed 1,200 kg.

extinct creatures

Just imagine the traffic jams this beast would have caused if it was still alive today…

extinct animals which were giant version of today's animals

Amphicyonidae aka Bone-Crunching-Bear-Dog

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We all know that bears are freaking mental, but because of the Care Bears and Winnie the Pooh, they just never seem so dangerous and kinda cute actually. Of course not many of us have first-hand experience with getting mauled by a Grizzly, else the general consensus would have been totally different. However, if these Bear-Dogs were still around then I am sure this misconception wouldn’t have existed in the first place. When any animal has “bone-crunching” in its name, you know things are getting serious. What we have here are basically the scariest parts of a Lion, Wolf and a Bear, rolled into one big, Frankensteinian, writing machine of death.

phrehistoric extinct creatures
Scientists believe it was the True Dog, who caused its extinction. Even though they were about the same size as a large wolf, these true dogs were social animals and hunted in packs, outnumbering this monster. Bear-Dogs, on the other hand, responded to any form of social contact by biting a head off.

It had the size and strength of a bear, the giant meat-slashing-teeth of a wolf and the claws, speed and dexterity of a Lion. At it’s time, 19 million years ago, it was the absolute apex predator as it ravaged the countryside of North America for, no less than, 5 million years. Eventually nature admitted this beast to be seriously overpowered, effectively dividing its killing parts over 3 of the most ferocious animals we see today.

phrehistoric extinct creatures

Meganeura, The Giant Dragonfly

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When God was taking a nap, the devil must have created this monstrosity just to prevent a single person from sleeping at night, and to collect the souls of children. Mageneura were Dragonfly-like insects that came in the size of a freaking Eagle, making them the biggest flying insects to ever existed.

extinct creatures
A R/C model of this bug would cause more panic than an Indian Earthquake!

The good news is that flying bugs this size will never be coming back, as the change in oxygen levels, during this prehistoric time, resulted in its extinction. In the current atmosphere they, fortunately, wouldn’t be able to take up enough oxygen to support this massive size. Not much else is known about these horrors, except that flyswatters would now have come with metal spikes, if these things would still be flapping around our porch light.

extinct creatures, largest flying insect that ever lived
Dude, put away that flyswatter before you piss it off…


13 COMMENTS

  1. I agree with Zeke. There is no substantial and believable proof that things existed millions of years ago. In fact, most of the archaeological and paleontological discoveries disprove those theories. For example, scientists found a dead dinosaur in the ocean that still had most of its flesh and couldn’t have died more than a month before. They also faked a fossil of a prehistoric bird. Many other things just go to show that not only are people lying to you about information, they are hiding from you the true information. I honestly don’t know why teachers teach that theory. I think the whole evolution theory is stupid. There is no possible way that a species can change… to a different species. Scientists are trying to prove macro-evolution through micro-evolution(in this case adaption) and they are ultimately failing. Everthing that they have ever found points to an all powerful Creator. I mean, look at how perfect and orderly everything is. Does anyone truly believe that the solar system or the trees or even the simple element of water could come out of an explosion??? If the sun was ONE inch closer it would burn us and if it was ONE inch farther away we would freeze to death. And I’ve heard people say that it probably formed and then adapted itself to be the perfect distance away from earth, but it doesn’t have a mind of its own. It has no knowledge of itself and much less of earth. Sorry for the rant, just wanted to point that out. I’m sick of people being taught lies. It’ll be a sad day when they realize that they were wrong this whole time:/

    • @Savannah- You’re totally correct. STress is as well. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY that scientists are correct about ANYTHING. The water cycle is false. Rain is just God’s piss. Nighttime isn’t caused by rotation of the Earth. It’s because God puts a sheet over us at night, the same way a person puts their pet bird to sleep. Meteorites are just God’s kidney stones. Scientists don’t prove things, they just make them up and blindly believe them without any proof thereof. It is absolutely astounding that anyone would believe something so silly as SCIENTIFIC FACT, when there are so many religions that obviously say the EXACT SAME THING AND ARE ALL SO CERTAINLY TRUE.

      (are you guys serious??)

  2. @savannah. While i understand your own personal disbelief in scientific theories on evolution (it is, after all extremely difficult to prove anything 100%), i find it disconcerting that you are willing to put so much weight on what you describe as an all powerful creator. I mean hey, faith is all very well and good ( I personally hold no stock in religious matters), but you can’t really criticise science for being unable to prove something, when religions themselves are founded upon unprove-able circumstances/Individuals. And if you could give me one piece, just one, of undeniable evidence that a god (or gods depending on your faith) exists, i would be more than willing to accept that i had previously been wrong. Until then, i’m gonna stick to scientific explanations.

  3. Lol @savannah Evelution a lie? Look I believe in a god but that doesn’t mean that science is wrong. There is factual evidence of Evelution of species. Like it or not things evolve into different things over a period of time. It’s not a lie

  4. @Savannah – think you’re right. Also, there must be some plot concerning southern hemisphere, because, really – how can it happen that all the water just doesn’t leak into the space? And I think that there’s no space, at all. What we really see above our heads is just God’s living room ceiling with some LED lights we use to call “stars”. Also, Sun isn’t star – it’s just really huge furnace that gives us light and heat. Don’t get befooled by those so-called “darwinists”, they’re just bunch of liars… 😀 😛