If you’re reading this then you can give yourself a big pat on the back for ending on top of an evolutionary battle that lasted millions of years. The reward? A bad day for us rarely involving: getting our head ripped off by some gigantic predator as it continues its day like nothing ever happened. Unless of course you live in some back country area of Australia that God abandoned a long… long time ago- and where every day is struggle for survival. But since you’re reading this from a computer, I assume that you’re enjoying the comforts of civilization (besides, if you are living in Australia then there is a big chance you are dead already).
Anyway, there was a time when nature was still trying to decide which one of it’s creations was worthy of being the dominant life form. We are talking about a time when the human race wasn’t around yet- or was still trying to prepare meat without setting its back hair on fire. In this ancient world, nature seemed to have a particularly hard time with setting a sense of scale. Meaning, anything alive during that time was at least the size of a Volkswagen and equipped with claws that could knock my goddamn head off in a single swift blow!
Fortunately, we dodged an evolutionary bullet when nature downsized these monstrous creatures. If that never had happened, mankind would have undoubtedly declared war on every single one of these monsters. Also, we’d probably be checking our email from a home that resembles a zombie apocalypse bunker, praying that our scent doesn’t get picked up by gargantuan creatures such as:
Megalodon, the Great White Multiplied by 10——————————————————————
Megalodon has to be the most frightening creature to ever have lived. The only reason why I even hesitated to put it on the top of this list of horrifying extinct creatures, is that it doesn’t have legs, which would have made it easier to avoid. If I were a mermaid then it would have been a no brainer though.
Anyway, if you ever watched a monster movie then I’m pretty sure this Megalodon was the star in at least on of them. In these movies you see this giant shark eat the Golden Gate Bridge, swallow cruise ships, or snatch Jumbo Jets from the sky (I shit you not, check out the video!). What’s even scarier then the acting in these movies, is that all these ludicrous scenarios would have probably came true if this gargantuan shark were still around today…
Megalodon grew to around 55 to 60 feet (20 meters) long and weighed as much as 100 tons, which is pretty close to a Blue Whale. The teeth of this prehistoric shark were over half a foot long and you’d have to go back 65 million years, to none other than Tyrannosaurus Rex, to find a creature with bigger choppers. Also, the biting power of this behemoth is known to be the strongest of any creature that ever lived. Scientists have calculated it to be around 18,2 tons, which is 10 times the force of a great white shark, enough to crush the skull of a prehistoric whale like an egg, or bite the Golden Gate Bridge in two.
As you can imagine, this was the ultimate marine predator and we still don’t know what caused its extinction. Speculations are that Megalodon fell victim to global cooling, or by the gradual disappearance of the giant whales that made up the bulk of its diet. There are also those who believe Megalodon still lurks deep on the ocean floor, but no hard evidence is around to support this. I am not sure if anyone, who went out to test that theory, ever made it back to shore though…
Gigantopithecus, aka Big Foot——————————————————————
While seemingly not the most terrifying extinct creature on this list, there is something about this giant primate that should be taken into consideration. Namely, these apes being around at a time when humans already walked the earth… Just imagine standing eye-to-eye with a 10 feet tall, 1,200 pounds weighing gorilla and not having a flamethrower to defend yourself.
A complete skeleton of these primates was never found, so scientists are still trying to fill in some of the blanks. Common believe is that they walked on all fours, so these pictures are more to demonstrate its frightening size. However the anthropologist Grover Krantz proposed the idea that they did actually move around on 2 legs as he tried to connect this extinct animal to the existence of a creature that is rumored to still live today, the legendary Big Foot.
Argentavis Magnificens, the gigantic bird——————————————————————
This gigantic bird of prey is the largest bird to ever terrorize the skies. It had a wingspan of about the same size of a Learjet and could snatch its prey (you) from the ground and shallow it whole, in a single swoop. Even though I would give up a liver to see one of these magnificent bastards, I think we can all thank god almighty for hitting the reset button on this one.
Enjoying the sun in your backyard, outdoor sports, riding a bike, forget about all that, it just wouldn’t be worth it if we’d have these monsters patrolling the sky.
On the other hand, maybe we would have been able to domesticate them, and we would all be flying these things to work.
Titanoboa, the snake that would beat King Kong’s ass——————————————————————
Anaconda’s are already freaking huge, with the largest on record stretching a jaw-dropping 27-feet. However, nature’s early sketch of this animal, named the “Titanoboa cerrejonensis”, was on a whole different level of terror. This creature, which seem to have been lifted from a 70’s Monster movie, lived 60 million years ago. It grew to around 50 feet, weighed 2,500 pounds, and could probably crush you to death just by looking at you!
Nature didn’t give it the ability to fly, but other than that this has to be the most bad-ass creature to ever existed. In fact, it actually survived the extinction event that wiped out all the dinosaurs, probably by curling up like a ball, while cackling madly at nature itself.
SuperCroc, the name says it all…——————————————————————
Here we have another extinct creature that seems to have stepped right of the set of a Godzilla movie. Yes, it’s actually called SuperCroc, which sounds like a name a 6 year-old would have come up with. But in all fairness, there isn’t another name that would do this seemingly invincible monster justice. SuperCrocs, which lived 112 million years ago, are pretty much the same armored, pant-shittingly scary things we see today, but with a horrifying twist. With today’s crocodiles, you basically have a period of fast growth, followed by a little bit of growth – but this guy wasn’t slowing down, at all! It just kept growing through it’s entire lifetime and are believed to reach the size of a bus (11.2–12.2 meters or 37–40 ft) and weighing almost 9,000 kg. In comparison, the largest saltwater crocodile on record weighed 1,200 kg.
Just imagine the traffic jams this beast would have caused if it was still alive today…
Amphicyonidae aka Bone-Crunching-Bear-Dog——————————————————————
We all know that bears are freaking mental, but because of the Care Bears and Winnie the Pooh, they just never seem so dangerous and kinda cute actually. Of course not many of us have first-hand experience with getting mauled by a Grizzly, else the general consensus would have been totally different. However, if these Bear-Dogs were still around then I am sure this misconception wouldn’t have existed in the first place. When any animal has “bone-crunching” in its name, you know things are getting serious. What we have here are basically the scariest parts of a Lion, Wolf and a Bear, rolled into one big, Frankensteinian, writing machine of death.
It had the size and strength of a bear, the giant meat-slashing-teeth of a wolf and the claws, speed and dexterity of a Lion. At it’s time, 19 million years ago, it was the absolute apex predator as it ravaged the countryside of North America for, no less than, 5 million years. Eventually nature admitted this beast to be seriously overpowered, effectively dividing its killing parts over 3 of the most ferocious animals we see today.
Meganeura, The Giant Dragonfly——————————————————————
When God was taking a nap, the devil must have created this monstrosity just to prevent a single person from sleeping at night, and to collect the souls of children. Mageneura were Dragonfly-like insects that came in the size of a freaking Eagle, making them the biggest flying insects to ever existed.
The good news is that flying bugs this size will never be coming back, as the change in oxygen levels, during this prehistoric time, resulted in its extinction. In the current atmosphere they, fortunately, wouldn’t be able to take up enough oxygen to support this massive size. Not much else is known about these horrors, except that flyswatters would now have come with metal spikes, if these things would still be flapping around our porch light.