Learn how to fight like Captain Kirk
Behold, nine of Captain Kirk’s most explosive combat moves!

At BizarBin we post about some scary and unsettling things such as: scary animals, the New World Order, evil cats and whatnot. As a result, people are now sending us emails on how to defend themselves against such horrors.

First of all I would like to point out that you’re probably save from any lethal animal attacks, unless of course you live in Australia. But the truth is, a real man should be able to handle himself when it’s on. Doesn’t matter if that involves a schoolyard bully, a drunkard looking for a fight or a pissed off Kangaroo. Therefore, we’ve put together this self-defense course featuring no other than the mighty Captain Kirk himself!

If you’re a Trekkie then you should know James Tiberius Kirk is a master of many fine skills. However, his hand-to-hand fighting prowess is perhaps the most deserving of our fear and respect. So, study these ass-whooping techniques closely (which also work on most animals, including cats), and you’ll be able to handle yourself in any situation put in front of you…

Self-Defense Course
The Meat Grinder. Double the devastation of a normal punch.
captain kirk fights
The Flying Butt Smasher. The name says it all. Great finisher for downed foes.
Self-Defense Course
The Two-Legged Torpedo. Excellent for taking out hordes of enemies.
captain kirk self defence
The Leg Choke. It’s lights out for the fool who gets caught in one of these!
self defence by captain kirk
Pillow Hurl. Even a pillow can be a deadly weapon in the hands of a master.